At its very basic level, self-care is about, just that – caring for ourselves. Yet, after having a pretty scary wake-up call recently I have realised that NO amount of smoothies, meditation or walks along the beach, will save me from not taking care of myself at the very base level.
Here are the 10 major things that I have learnt this year and wanted to share with you – they’ve formed the basis of a lot of my blogs this year based on conversations I have had with people, challenges I have personally faced, and most definitely lessons that I have learnt along the way.
My question to you is this. By not taking time to understand more about what drives you, motivates you, or triggers you, aren’t you actually the one living a sheltered, numb’ish experience of life? Aren’t you ultimately the coward who doesn’t want to know more about themselves so that they learn how to leverage their best skills, work on how to close some of their gaps and in the process become a more compassionate and understanding human towards the differences in other people?
You get to set the tone for your team and drive your objectives forward. It will be fun they said. It will be great they said. YOU will be great, they said.
Then reality hits. You’ve never managed people before. Infact, you are now managing people who last week were your colleagues. You used to whinge together over lunch about your manager – now you are that person. Sh*t. Will they talk about you behind your back too?
You’ve finally done it. You’ve landed the dream job. The dream brand or Company, the title you’ve worked so hard for, and the money – whhhhhhoooop, show meeeeee the money! There is only one problem. Now that you are there, you’ve realised it’s not quite the dream job after all. Sh*t. Now, what do you do?
Although the 5 steps that I gave in my last blog can be relevant in a lot of ways to anything that you want to ask for, here are a couple of suggestions for things that you can do to confidently prepare yourself to ask for what you want that might not specifically be about salary.
Then, it feels like out of nowhere they ask you for your salary expectations. You panic. You sweat. You stutter. If you are lucky you say your expectations with a molecule of confidence, but mostly just fumble through the sentence. You may even then put something on the end of the sentence like “Oh, but it’s really just about finding the right role. The money isn’t important to me!”. Eeeeeeeek. Sister, you are not alone.
Often, I see women with a fear of putting themselves out there in case they are wrong. A fear of asking for something in case they don’t get it, or are told NO. A fear of mot putting their hand up for that promotion just so that they can get some “more experience” first, or another qualification to help them validate that they know their shi*t.
Why do we do this? Not be fully present in one moment. Not be completely engaged and respectful when in dialogue with someone, or when in a job, a meeting, a holiday, whatever it might be? Why, so often are we looking for the next thing, or why do we so often feel the need to move SO fast that we don’t stop to enjoy and appreciate what we are currently doing. Is it FOMO? The fear of missing out on something, but then never really enjoying any ONE thing because we are trying to be a part of everything?