Here are the 10 major things that I have learnt this year and wanted to share with you – they’ve formed the basis of a lot of my blogs this year based on conversations I have had with people, challenges I have personally faced, and most definitely lessons that I have learnt along the way.
Have you ever felt upset, disgruntled or undervalued because you weren’t considered for something? It might have been a job opportunity, a promotion, a stretch task or project, or even just to get involved in something outside of your usual fold? Have you ever felt left out in your personal life when you weren’t invited somewhere?
Your comfort zone is a behavioural space where your activities fit a chosen routine that ultimately minimises your stress and risk. It provides you with a state of mental security. The routine is then reinforced because you experience regular happiness, low anxiety and reduced stress. If we are experiencing happiness, minimal to no anxiety and little to no stress, why the f*ck would I mess with that, I hear you say?
How often do we take the leap of faith? Take the deep breath and ask the tough question? Say yes to something when every part of us is yelling our no? It is those 10 seconds, where we could go either way, that ultimately have the power to shape the direction of our lives. 10 seconds of bravery or vulnerability could completely change the course of your life.
Although the 5 steps that I gave in my last blog can be relevant in a lot of ways to anything that you want to ask for, here are a couple of suggestions for things that you can do to confidently prepare yourself to ask for what you want that might not specifically be about salary.
Each day is a blessing, not just each new year. Instead of wiping the slate clean each year, we should be taking the lessons from each year and each day into the next. Use each year to continue to build on yourself and grow, not “start again” or be a “new you”. If you do that every year, you’ll be a new person every 12 months. You won’t give yourself the chance to be authentic, or to be truly vulnerable as to what your areas of opportunity for growth are because you are too busy wiping the slate clean to start again.
Why do I think I failed every year? Because I set myself up to fail from the start! I was never invested enough in these “resolutions” for them ever to work. I never had a plan for them. I never knew what success actually looked like. And if these resolutions were supposedly SO important to me, why did I wait to the start of a new year to decide to commit to them?
Often, I see women with a fear of putting themselves out there in case they are wrong. A fear of asking for something in case they don’t get it, or are told NO. A fear of mot putting their hand up for that promotion just so that they can get some “more experience” first, or another qualification to help them validate that they know their shi*t.