Ignoring the Haters……. How to follow your purpose when you are surrounded with negativity?
Have you ever had a conversation with someone about your goals or your dreams and they look at you with a face like “You must be crazzzzzzy” – you just know they are thinking “tell her she’s dreaming”, and that that long list of ambitions and goals of what you want to achieve in your life is only ever going to stay just that. A dream.
This happens to me regularly, and I know I am not the only one. Although people are often not ill-intended when they rain on your parade, it does what any solid douse of negativity or condescending tone does – it plants a seed of self-doubt in your mind.
It starts to make you question if you can have it all. Can you have your cake and eat it too?
It starts to make you question if you are wanting for too much, or expecting too much. Most people can’t help themselves but be bound by the restrictions they place on their own lives – it is just the way most humans are innately wired, and it works for society for us to be that way. To think that we can’t have it all. To think that the job we are in we must keep just because it pays the bills even if we are unhappy. To not put ourselves out there and stretch ourselves, because trying and failing is worse than the ignorance of the unknown.
I am again calling Bulls**t on that and if you are reading this, then there is a part of you that is too!
If you follow the right strategy and you keep your eye on the prize YOU CAN have it all. You will also be less aware of the haters or the negativity they bring because of the momentum you’ll have gained in achieving YOUR goals – all of a sudden the negativity doesn’t affect you because you are going to the beat of your own drum and kicking goals all round (excuse my merging of multiple metaphors into the one sentence!).
Here are three (3) P’s that I now choose to live by…..
Understand what YOU want. What is YOUR purpose? Not Joe’s down the road, or Maria in the cubicle next to you. Yours. What is the point of the long days, the late-night emails, the 2 hours a day on public transport? What does this get you, and more importantly, do you want it? If you do, then fuck yes, my friend, you are on the right path! If not, now is the time for you to think about the following questions.
What are your short term and long term goals and what does YOUR wish list really look like? Understanding this is the hardest part – it doesn’t sound hard, but I dare you to sit down and really reflect on what you want. Really want. Ask yourself these questions.
- What are you passionate about? What excites you?
- What do you value in life? (i.e. family, friends, adventure, career, wealth, freedom etc).
- What are your non-negotiables in life? (i.e. having a successful career, being fit, having children, driving a nice car etc).
- When you wake up each morning, are you pumped for your day, or do you drag yourself out of bed counting how many days until the weekend?
PUT YOUR GOALS ON PAPER
This is the fun part! Now that you are clear on your purpose, what does that look like in the short term and the long term? Often people are too scared to take the time to focus on this part and put it down on paper. Why? Because once they do this, sh*t just got REAL! You’ve committed and now you must follow through on that commitment.
- What do you want to achieve in the short term – the next 1 -3 years? This could be a holiday, saving for a house deposit, to get married, to meet a partner, spend more time with friends, get that promotion. It should be anything that is important to YOU.
- What do you want to achieve in the longer term? This is 5+ years. What does a “Full Life” mean to you? It could be the freedom and flexibility in your job to have enough time to focus on a hobby. It could be making enough money to buy that dream car, dream house, dream boat. It could be saving up enough money to buy a house with a backyard for your family to enjoy. It could be packing up for 6 months and travelling the world. Anything that gets your blood pumping. Do not put boundaries on things here. Think big. Too often we go straight to the reasons why somthing won’t work before we have even considered that it could.
PRIORITISE YOUR GOALS MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE
We often talk about prioritisation when we talk about our job and the number of tasks we need to get done during the day. For some reason though, when it comes to our personal goals and what we want to achieve out of our lives, we don’t allow ourselves the option to prioritise. We already have put ourselves last. That shit stops now! You have just said that the goals you have listed for the short term and the long term are the things the most important to you and your ability to live a full life. Therefore, why should they not be more important than anything else???
If you want to achieve these goals, you need to make the time to do so, AND you need to stick to it.
For example, is your short-term goal to lose 10 kilos in the next 12 months? How the hell do you do that if you don’t make a commitment to yourself to prioritise this first? If your sitting at your desk all day, every day sipping on coffees and eating crap, I see 10 kilos hitting your ass, not falling off it.
Prioritise YOUR goals first.
I could go on about this topic all day because it really is the biggest driver to living the live you want. And once you are doing that, suddenly you don’t actually give a fuck about the haters, the negative bystanders, the cynics and sceptics – let them watch you have your cake and eat it too!
Much love as always peeps!
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Claire Seeber xxxx
Keen advocate for the getting the f*ck out of your own way to live the life you want!