The side of the Sisterhood that sucks! WARNING: Rant to follow.
I LOVE the sisterhood. I believe it can be something so powerful and so uplifting. There is something so special about when a group of women come together and you can just feel their fu*king ability to take over the world!
Research shows that, in general, women are the more empathetic sex and are by nature more attuned to their own and others feelings. This is a great advantage when dealing with the complexities of work, life and other humans! Not to mention our insane ability to multitask, manage stress and our high levels of EQ. Hells yeah sister!
But I have an issue that I need to get off my chest. If you keep reading do so at your own will. You have been warned.
Why, do we have to be so f*cking rude and hurtful sometimes? Is it to build ourselves up by tearing others down? Does it make us feel like a good person when you make another person feel incompetent, undeserving, or judged? Why do we pick on what each other are wearing, or not wearing, or weighing, or not weighing, or doing, or not doing?
I was eaves-dropping on a conversation the other morning (as you do!) whilst I was waiting for my morning coffee and overheard two women absolutely going to town on other mothers at what I presume was the same school they send their children to. Going on and on about how other mothers should be aware of the impact that their jobs could have on their children and the bad example it sets for them. That they will regret it in the long run. That they clearly don’t put their children first. And it went onnnnnnnnn. And on. And on.
As I write this blog post I sadly have no shortage of examples that I can think of where women are tearing other women down. And it has me raging. I am not a mum, so I don’t profess to have any insight into what it is like to be a mother. But I know this. It is hard. It is damn hard. And I guarantee you that the day I do have children, I will make it my mission to make other mums feel supported and as though we are in this together – not the reverse of this where we tear each other down to compensate for what I can only guess is our own insecurity.
Why do we think it is up to us to credit or discredit people? Who do we honestly think that we are to pass judgement onto another women’s life. Anyone’s life for that matter when we haven’t walked a mile in their shoes.
When we tear one woman down, we tear all women down.
This type of indirect aggression (or sometimes direct aggression) is what often keeps us, as women, stuck. Stuck in a place of competing with other women. Stuck in a place of taking stock of other women’s value based on how they look. Stuck in a place of feeling insecure about our own appearance, accomplishments and goals.
We’ve all been there. Hand on heart I know I am not innocent here and I think back now to things I have said in the past and it makes my heart hurt. NO MORE. Can we just cut the crap already and focus on the bigger issues? Who gives a sh*t what Jane is wearing, or whether Suzie breastfeeds or not? If we really want to have an impact on the position of women in society we need to pull together, value ourselves as a collective and not something that we pick apart.
We have 84-year-old women conquering Everest, and we have 19-year-old women racking in millions of dollars each year off digital media – opportunity is everywhere and for all of us if we let it be. Next time you look at another woman judging her on what she has that you don’t, stop yourself. Look at her and salute your fellow sister – she has worked hard and she deserves that, just as you do if you want it too.
And finally…. To any women who destroy other women who are currently reading… please unsubscribe, I have no room for you here.
I help women get out of their own ways. I help you deal with the overthinking. The Imposter Syndrome. The self-doubt. All the things currently getting in your way of being a confident, kick a** woman in your workplace and in your life. Need help? Contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org and let’s see how I can help you. Our first phone consultation is completely obligation free.
Keen advocate for helping you get the f*ck out of your own way!